Road to Tokyo

7 days and 2,118km (Total: 79 days and 16,427km)

“Turn right and drive 500km until you reach your destination” said Google Maps every morning.

So that's what we did for our first few days in Kazakhstan — riding through the West of the country and wrapping around the Caspian Sea, albeit only scratching the tiniest surface of this huge landmass the size of Western Europe.

Riding a motorcycle here is tough. The wind is so brutal that your neck becomes sore holding your head in place. The landscape is the exact same in every direction for so long that it becomes disorienting. And the bare road with nowhere to stop is simply intimidating. Time passes slowly and each day is a fresh challenge.

But, it's one heck of a spectacle for the eyes. If Italy is the Teletubbies and Armenia is Dune, then Kazakhstan is Star Wars. It's like a different world — driving through vast landscapes contained only by the horizon and with opposing weather systems battling it out in the sky above. All the while, camels, horses, cows, tortoises, foxes, hedgehogs, and dogs meander across the road in front of you. The place, literally and figuratively, takes the breath away.

Unfortunately I was taught nothing about the Stans at school so my only subconscious preconception was embarrassingly and incorrectly built from Borat. The people seem reserved, keeping in their own swim lane, so to speak, but are super friendly, welcoming, and always have a smile on their face when you interact with them. During our time in the country we had strangers buy us a full tank of fuel, a meal, ice creams, energy drinks, ice tea, and countless bottles of water. We learned earlier in our trip that refusing such “gifts” is disrespectful more than polite.

The restaurants are the size of palaces and always look closed, with tinted windows and their doors shut, until you walk in. The food is tasty, you just have to be comfortable that “meat” is typically from horse and “milk” might be from a camel. Google isn't too helpful with menu translations, so we were often deciding between dishes like “potatoes of the fool” and “meat with confusion”. But, whatever we ordered, we left satisfied every night for less than €5.

The highlight of our week was on our fourth night. We had heard of a mystical landscape called Bozhira — a canyon that was the bottom of the Tethys Ocean millions of years ago. It was roughly 200km from where we staying but we couldn't find directions anywhere on the internet. We were recommended to find a local guide that is equipped with both the knowledge and a 4x4, but we had an adventure motorcycle and this sounded like a adventure. So we mounted K and set off.

After four hours of road, sand, and dead ends, we knew we were close and saw some promising tracks veering off the beaten track and into the open landscape. After 10km (which is a long way when you're off road) we had to make a decision whether to keep going. It was late in the day, we were running low on fuel, and the track was getting worse. If it rained, which we had already learned could happen at any moment, we'd be in a bit of a pickle. We were close to calling it before we ventured over a small peak and Bozhira opened up like a pop-up book.

We found a flat spot overlooking the canyon, pulled up the bikes and setup camp. No internet, no people, no worries. We soaked up the view until the sun disappeared over the edge of the canyon and went to sleep happy and content. If the pop-up book actually existed, I like to think it would be called “Magical Places on Planet Earth.”

The next morning we made coffee and waited for the heat of the day to tell us to get going. We rode back to Aktau and spent two nights in a hostel awaiting visas. More “chicken from a fried grandma”, “eggplant sadness”, and 90p beers.

When we got news that our visas were approved, we left for the Kazakh border. It was only 160km away on a straight road but Google said we needed 4 hours to get there — something didn't add up. We'd soon find out why...

Next stop: Turkmenistan

P.S. Before Kazakhstan we covered 702km over 4 days in Russia. We'll be back in Russia after the Stans so a post will wait till after then.